Best of Intentions

  I had planned on making this a weekly log of what I am doing on my Dedicant Path. I will still be doing that, but as I am in the final stages of packing up my house, I may be putting the blog on a small hiatus. I am not sure what kind of internet I will have access to after next week, as I will be traveling to see my husband graduate from Chaplaincy school, and then we are moving! So, I will try to do one more post before packing up the computer, but I also know I am running low on energy for a lot of things.
  I haven't gotten as much done on reading my book, or assignments. I feel bad, because this is something I really want to do, and do well. Hopefully in January I can knuckle down and get caught up on everything *crosses fingers*.
  So to everyone, have a blessed Yule/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus season, and thank you for walking with me on this path.

Samhain Essay

High Holy Day Essay #1

Samhain 2019

  I attended Northern Roots Grove’s Samhain ritual, titled The Swan and the Crow, held Nov 3^rd at Gwyfyn Coedwig (Grovemate’s personal Grove). This ritual was a blend of OBOD and our own COOR. We called upon An Morrigan as well as Caer Ibormeith. The whole ritual was facilitated by fellow Grove members, Mallaidh and Diane, who wrote all the music and prayers, as well as created the ritual.

  The ritual focused on sacred drama and music, bringing us to the holiness of this time of year when the mists that separate us from the Otherworld. We brought offerings to An Morrigan and to Caer Ibormeith, and read the omens via rose stems ogham, as well as a system created by Diane using various bird feathers. The offerings at first were accepted, with the caveat that An Morrigan wanted more, and so additional offerings were given and accepted. We entered the Cave of Cats, and left offerings of black paper feathers for the departed there. We also heard stories about the Cave of Cats, as well as the legend of Caer Ibormieth, who was wooed by Aengus Og.

  It was a very formal ritual, but ultimately very fulfilling. It was interesting to learn about the Goddesses, and the magic of the evening was certainly uplifting. I could feel An Morrigan very strongly in the Cave, and it made me remember that She has asked me to honor Her more often. While I am personally a Brighid devotee, I could feel the calls to others that evening: An Dagda andOghma. So, ultimately, I will be creating a larger sacred space after we get settled in our new home.  

Upheaval

  There will be a lot of internet ink spilled over this subject, so I will only say that I believe the ADF Mother Grove did the right thing, and that I truly believe we will emerge from this stronger and ready to really be in the modern era. I will continue to be a part of this organization for the foreseeable future, and hope to be a part of that change.
  This week for the DP class, we had to write our first two essays: the historical high day one, and a write up of our last ritual we attended. I confess that my historical one was a bit rushed, and really isn't up to what I would consider snuff. That said, I did do it, and not even late! I haven't written my ritual essay yet, although I did get the template filled out so I wouldn't forget what happened at it. So, what I will do is post both here as a back up, so if my computer decides to go belly up, I will have it saved online. I really ought to use my notebook for a "hard copy" as well, but currently I have enough on my plate, and need to focus. So, online and hard drive will have to do.
  I have been attempting the 9 Days of Brighid, and so far have not been able to do a complete day. *sadface* However, the attempts have been met positively, so I am going to continue to try. Having a daily practice, even if it's only for 10 minutes, is a goal I have for my own faith path, and this is helping me to at least be aware of it. I also am having some mixed feelings over my henotheism... lately I have been feeling the "call" to have multiple altars, or at least one main for my Lady, and a shrine with others. Oghma, An Dagda, and An Morrigan have been asking for recognition... and I really don't think I can put it off much longer. The Ancestors have also been starting to ask for something more permanent... so, I am not sure how I will proceed at this point. Moving has consumed me, and while I would love to set up so much for all of Them, I really don't have the space for something like it. And there is the setup for the Altar essay...Thank you Lady for the Imbas (Go Raibh Maith Agat)
  So, without further ado, here is my first historical high day essay:

1^st Essay: Cross Quarter Day: Samhain

11/1/19

                Samhain is a Fire festival, set between the fall equinox and winter solstice. There is evidence that in Ireland this was a New Year type of festival, complete with games and the final slaughter before the cold of winter set in. The “Good People” walked freely between Sidhes, and the Dead could be honored with a place at the table. Depending on the area and people, mumming and pranks could be done, with food and coins given to the players to appease them so no tricks would be done.

                A lot of what we know about Samhain is rather limited. We are far enough removed from the origins of this High Day to really not know for sure what was done in the past. We have some folklore, myths and legends, true, but historical and archeological evidence are really rather scarce. The scant little bits we do have, however, make this a special time of communion with those who have gone before us, and the Spirits that inhabit our world around us.

                Despite having no concrete evidence other than small gleanings from the fields of the past, this High Day is one that many Celtic Pagans feel very akin to. It signals the Dark Half of the year, and we now can spend our time in our homes, preparing for the coming New Year, strengthening our practices and paths. We may never know the exact rituals and words used by our ancestors, but we can commune with them in this time, and honor our gods and goddesses in our new ways.

Eh, it's not bad. I have a year to tweak as necessary. There are quite a few essays that need to be written, but thankfully most of them aren't too long. 

  Today is a cold day, but that's not unusual up here in Minnesota at this time of year. Everyone is starting to gear up for the long darkness that is the winter here in the upper Midwest. I am going to miss it. Virginia is a "foreign land" to me. It's close to the Atlantic, an ocean I have communed with before with good outcomes, but the land is "different". I grew up in a rural community in Wisconsin, and I am very much "tied" to that area. (I also just realized I used a lot of quotation marks, sorry... trying to denote feelings or sensations in the written word is difficult) So, got a lot to work on to establish a connection there as well. Going to be very different living in a military situation as well. I'm at the age where lots of changes like this are hard to overcome quickly. 

  I hope everyone else has a good weekend, blessings to you all!

Alyssa

Renewal

  It is November 1st, 2019, and I am starting over again with this blog, and the Dedicant Path for Ár nDraíocht Féin, or ADF for short. A lot of things will be different going forward, and hopefully I will not "fall off the path" again! I am setting myself up a task to blog every Friday, like I did before. It's a good end of the week goal, I think.
  I have been participating, as much as I can, in Echo Summer's DP class on Google Classroom. She is doing a much better job than I was at keeping assignments going. The Study Group is still a thing, but it's pretty quiet now. I am unsure how to really proceed with it, but I am not gonna get rid of it either.
  Today begins the 9 Days of Brighid, hosted by Clann Bhride. It consists of 3 morning prayers/offerings/flame tending, 3 midday prayers/offerings, and 3 evening prayers, etc. I did it somewhat a few years ago, when they were starting it, and was able to keep up for a bit. Today I missed the morning prayers, but did do the midday ones, and hoping to remember to do the evening ones. The groups Book of Hours is lovely, and hopefully I will get the handwritten, illustrated version done that I started.
   We do have Northern Roots Grove's Samhain ritual, which is Sunday, and so looking forward to it. 
  It's cold out...and the skies are darkly grey. I both love, and hate, this time of year. I love the coziness of a warm home and blankets, rich soups and the fun of holiday movies and treats. I hate how dark it is. I have lived in the upper Midwest all my life, and I still hate when it gets dark so early. It makes my depressive episodes longer, and in general makes me feel snappier, crankier.
  This year I know will be especially hard. My husband is away at army chaplains school, and I won't get to see him until mid December. As we are moving in literally 2 months, I cannot decorate to help lighten the place. In fact, by the time it gets truly dark up here in Minnesota, I will have mostly bare walls, and boxes everywhere filled up with our lives. I do not thrive in chaos, and yet here we are.
  I will do what I can to make myself continue working on my Path...bullet journaling, the Google Classroom setup, writing in this blog. It's something that is fulfilling, and needs to be tended, just like a fledgling forest.

Awen,
Alyssa

7th Week

  I am finally getting some of this caught up! I am behind on my reading, but in my defense, I have a husband, kids, and a household that take a lot of my time and energy. I wasn't going to walk to the library today, even though it is my day to do so (laundry is behind, and I have no outside pants!), but I think I had better. I did some housework, and all I can think about is how much more I need to do today. I think a walk will help a lot.
  I took on a role in Northern Roots, and now I am doing the Healer position. I have been thinking about what that means, and planning some of the things I want to do as the Healer. I am considering writing rituals for healing energies to be done as a group, writing prayers to be used in conjunction to herb/candle work, etc. I think I will also put together a "healing list", that members of the Grove can put on their prayer concerns on. I want to have a Grove candle, a home candle, and a world candle. Keeping things separate like that may help with when I have the energies to send out. Also, perhaps something with the Moon cycles. So many ideas! I definitely need to get to the library and write this all out in my notebooks.
  Today is a little scattered inside my head. So this post won't be very coherent, much more of a brain dump so I can focus on the tasks at hand. I did sit and share tea with Brighid today...well, She got 2 Gingers whiskey, and I drank water. I am trying to cut back my drinking; I know I am an alcoholic, and I would like to keep it under strict control. Also, haven't been very good to my body lately, so water and walking is necessary. Another reason to go to the library...I am sensing a trend.
  Ok, time to get out into the sunshine, and complete this mission. 

6th Week and counting

  I never made it to the spot I wanted to meditate at. We were just too busy on the two days I would have had a chance. It's too far to walk with my knees the way they are recently, so I needed the car, and I don't have the car most of the time. Oh well...I can certainly try again next week. I think part of it is that I don't want to get too attached to the Spirits of this area, since in 5 months we are leaving.
  Right now, I am trying to get back to a schedule. I have missed a couple of weeks of going to the library to study. I still haven't finished A Brief History of the Druids. I haven't done much with my shrine and altar, haven't been doing my divination work, etc. I have let stuff slide yet again. I despise being depressed. Some days it takes all of my energy just to get up and do a small handful of things around here...some days, I can't even do that, and my kids and hubby take up the slack. Anyway...
  Today I am going to start small. I will walk to the library, sit and catch up on the various home work that I have neglected, or at least make a dent in it, haha! I will draw a card from my Oracle deck and study the meaning. I will sit and breath. I can do this, and I will...

Always behind....

  I went with a very dear friend recently to a lovely little place near her home, a rather weedy and lily pad covered small lake. She wanted to do a guided shamanic journey, and this was a quiet (if you ignored the cars on Hwy 100 some distance away) natural sort of place. A heron flew above us twice. I watched fish eat water bugs, saw tiny fish near the shore, and listened to the wind rustling the leaves above our bench.
  I was very upset by the cigarette butts and beer cans strewn about. I am going to go back this week and clean it up, and work on breathing in a natural setting. There are maybe more quiet places in the city where I could be, but the water there, all murky and weedy, teeming with life, with the lily pads floating serenely on top, just seemed to speak to me. I hadn't found a real water feature near me that spoke to me, until this past Saturday. When I was part of a group called Nigheanan Brighde, we were to find a water/natural area to take care of and get to know. I was never able to do that, either because of time, family situation, or just plain not sure of what to do.
  Now that I am not in a 9-5 job, I have time to do such things (if you don't count all the family duties I have!), and slowly, but surely, I am getting around. Which in a way is sad, since in December we are moving to the east coast area, and I will have to do this all over again. I found my Grove these past 2 years, and other Druid things have fallen into place, and now I must uproot... I am profoundly sad about all of this. I understand the necessity behind what we are doing, and in the long run it is good for our family. But I am sad that I have my roots here, and I will be forced to try to grow them in unfamiliar soil. Luckily my Grove family is going to keep me from losing touch with them, and with the study group I will have that tie back.
  So, part of this past weeks homework was to find a natural spot and commune with it. I will now be able to do that on a weekly basis, and will be content with what I have for now. It is good.

Week 2: First Oathing

The First Oath: what a pesky thing to think of!

  I have been reading First Oaths as given by the ADF... I like them, but they are much too ...much? I already have a daily practice, and to Oath so formally feels like it is too much. However, I also see the necessity of it for some who need that particular way of Oathing, to make it through that step onto the Path.
  After re-reading the homework, I understand better the First Oath, and what it stands for. I will, most likely, use the format offered, and the wording as well. I haven't felt any particular Imbas on this homework. I will probably hold off on the Oath for awhile, and after I find the right "time" to perform it, I will post it up here. I am trying very hard to not get behind, as I tend to get overwhelmed, and it triggers depression episodes. Being a woman in her 40's can be a very interesting time...

Week 3: High Holy Days

Appendix 2: Ritual Write-up Template

We have provided a template that you can expand on for writing up rituals. Feel free

to re-write it, edit it, or make copies of it. The template here is derived from Sonoran Sunrise

Grove, ADF's, Ritual Service Record. Special thanks to Rev. Kirk Thomas for providing it.

High Day Celebrated: ___________________ Location: _____________________

Date Celebrated: _______________________ Time Celebrated: ______________

Who Led the Rite: ______________________ Grove Name: __________________

Other ritual officers: ______________________________________________________

Number of Attendees: ________ Gatekeeper: ___________________

Deities of the Occasion (Patrons): __________________________________________

Omen Method (i.e. runes, ogham, tarot): ____________________________________

Omen (as read, with interpretation):

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Any Magical Workings Done or Oaths Given:

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Impressions/Other Comments/Notes:

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

This is the write up that I will be using when we finally get to celebrate ritual together. This year has been particularly hard for get togethers, with bad weather, scheduling, etc. Our next Grove ritual is on Lughnasadh. Looking forward to a full ADF ritual, as well as rededicating myself to Northern Roots. 

  The pace offered by the Wheel of the Year book is a bit overwhelming; but, if I just get into good habits, which I can do (yes I can, stop laughing!!), it won't feel so bad. I will post this write up, and then answer the questions from the WotY week after the Lughnasadh ritual. I think it will be better than trying to remember old rituals, etc. 

 

Week 1: Wheel of the Year questions

This is for week one out of the Wheel of the Year:

1.  Why have you chosen to take the first steps on the Dedicant path?
2. Is this a step on your path, or will this become the Path itself?
3. What do you expect to learn?
4. What would you like to get out of this journey?
5. Do you know where this path will take you?
6. If you have just joined ADF, why have you chosen to work on this immediately?
7. If you have been in ADF for a long time, why are you starting only now?
8. Does it look hard or easy?
9. Which requirements appear to be difficult to you now, and which appear to be easy?
10. Do you have doubts, question, or concerns that you need to ask about?

1. I chose this path because all others weren't quite right. I had been raised Christian, Lutheran to be exact, dabbled in Wicca, looked at Trad Witchcraft, Green Witchcraft, and various Brighid groups for flametending duties. It wasn't until I read Brendan Myers's book Mysteries of Druidry that I found a home for my faith. I then looked at OBOD, AODA, solitary, and of course, ADF. This course offers, for me, the best all around study, and I feel at home in the program.

2. I believe this is a step in the Path for me. I know this will be a long journey, and I hope the DP program can help me figure out the steps so I can further my relationships with my Goddess and the world, and the people in it.

3. Anything I can ! I want to learn how to run an ADF ritual, and also how to participate fully within a Druidic community. I expect that this path will never truly end, and I will continue to learn to the end of my days.

4. I hope to keep my love of learning and not burn out.

5. I would like to continue on after finishing the DP and start the clergy program. I feel that I am called to help further the community, and become a teacher.

6. N/A

7. I was going to start when I initially joined in 2016, but that fizzled out due to family, depression, and being solitary. I am now part of 2 Groves: Northern Roots and Banded Iron Proto-Grove, both in the Twin Cities. Having  them to work with me has helped tremendously! We started an actual Study Group (online, but still!), and it is keeping me on task

8. It looks both easy and hard. Until I get used to the schedule set by the study group, it will be difficult, since I am also a mom and a wife, and a crafter.

9. None appear, at this moment, to be any more difficult than any others.

10. At this time, no. This feels correct and right.

Happy Summer Solstice!

  As a northern hemisphere dweller, today is celebrated as the longest day of the year. Obviously, in the southern hemisphere it is the Winter Solstice, so blessings to them as they celebrate the Wheel of the Year turning towards warmer weather and longer days!
  I have made several goals for myself this year, and have actually stuck to a few of them! *gasp* It is very difficult to keep myself on task for long term goals. When a depressive episode hits, it saps all energy to even do basic functional tasks, let alone meditation and ritual prayer. I usually end up borrowing from Peter to pay Paul in the energy department, as I have children and husband and other home responsibilities, but I am very fortunate to have excellent roommates who step up. It helps a lot now that my kids are older, and can handle a lot of their own stuff without me.
  So, here is what I have been able to do with some amount of consistancy:

1. Go to the library once a week.
        - this is a big one; I am currently jobless, and as the only adult in the house not contributing financially anymore, I take care of household chores (with help from boys, who quite frankly need the practice anyway!). Getting out of the house more than once a week is needed, and when I am home it is difficult to concentrate on studying when housework looms. Luckily my local library is only a 10-15 min walk (depending on traffic, etc) away.

2. Share tea with Brighid in the morning
       - I crave ritual, but am unused to actually getting up and doing it. I always fear it isn't "good enough", or what have you. I am usually a coffee drinker, but I now brew a cup of Irish Breakfast Tea, sweeten with local honey, and add some half n half, and share a cup at my shrine with Her in the morning. I did originally start with coffee, and She appreciated that, but gently requested tea for the next share.

3. Work on memorizing daily prayers
       - I have prayers from the Carmina Gaedalica, Clann Bhride, and elsewhere, written in a journal that has been many things, but now is my Prayer Book. I was illuminating some of them, but the soft handmade paper isn't very conducive to it. I almost have a Caim to Her memorized, along with my own hand gestures. I am also looking into making a set of prayer beads, and utilizing the prayers as recorded by Clann Bhride with it. They are a lovely organization, and have very good spiritual practices.

4. Practicing meditative breathing
        - This isn't really easy for me, but I am at least learning how to be mindful of my breath. I found a 3 hour long meditative music thing on YouTube, and I am working on emptying my mind... someday soon, haha!

5. Bullet journaling
      - specifically, recording temps and moon phases. It's more of a record for me, as I don't really do much with Brother Moon myself, but I like to know when it was full, etc. I haven't been as good at doing this part, but I do try.
Speaking of bullet journaling: I have some photos of how I set my DP journal up.

notebooks

These notebooks I picked up in 2016 when I was originally starting my DP. I let my ADF membership lapse, and didn't even get very far in the DP before this year. A lot of that was due to the fact I was solitary, and I wasn't sure how to go about doing anything. Then, I took a chance on a Druid outing called Druidpalooza with these crazy ladies from Northern Roots Grove. It. Was. The. Best!!! They were friendly, welcoming, and I was immediately at home. I honestly did not know anyone that was there, and when I came home two days later I had a new home for my spirituality. I dedicated myself to the Grove last year, and will rededicate myself this year. Paganican was fabulous with our party suite, and one of the Druids we hosted was Rev. John Drum, the Archdruid for ADF. After Paganicon, I knew it was time, and re-upped my membership in ADF.






So, this is the Index page, and it contains the symbols I use for denoting items to do, finished, etc. It also has a set up for the logs, etc, and what pages they are on. As this is a normal notebook, the pages aren't numbered and so I have been writing the numbers on the bottom outside corners as I use them. After bullet journaling for a couple of years, I have found that if I set the Index up ahead (the monthly pages already listed, without the page numbers), I will actually USE the Index, haha!




This is the Future Log. It is mainly useful for major events, like High Holy Days, etc. I set mine up monthly, with December kinda getting the short end of the stick. If you were to do a full year, you might need 4 pages vs 2 like I used. As I started this one in June, 6 months is good enough. It's kind of a year at a glance thing.

So this is the Monthly set up. I write the day abbreviations and their dates along the side, and then use a single line to write anything specific to the month there during the actual month. It's not like the Future log; this is date specific, and you can add details if needed. The second page of this spread I use as a place to write down goals for the month. It's handy to have those goals written out, so you can't weasel out of doing them, haha!

This is how I do my daily log. Each day has a space, and I put in the tasks I need to complete for that day. It's recommended that you don't actually "plan ahead" with the daily log; you never know how many spaces you may need for a particular day. I do anyway. I leave a bit of space so I can add if necessary, but I often have several things during the week I don't want to forget, so I plan ahead. You get pretty good at figuring out what kind of space you need.

Technically this isn't in my bujo (shorthand for bullet journal), but it is in my notes journal. I marked off the relevant pages with washi tape (when you go to conventions you can get free stuff like that sometimes!), so I can find them easily in the journal. A lot of bujo enthusiasts will really go whole hog and use so many colors/shapes/designs, but really, anything to mark the pages as easy to find is fine. I wrote out the rest of the year, days and dates, and marked out where the moon phase info would go. Then, I started writing out the weather for the day, and the moon phase in the far column. This isn't particularly relevant to my Hearth practice, but I felt it was necessary to try.

This is a spread in the bujo that is about prayers for the prayer beads I want to create. I will mark this on the Index page so I can find it easily when I am ready to start utilizing it in my daily practices.






  So, that is where I am as far as working on my daily practices. I am not able to do it all every day, but I have been rather consistent otherwise. Getting into the habits is always the hardest part.

  I hope you found the bullet journaling aspect of this interesting. Thanks for reading!
Alyssa