Abuzz with ideas

  So many things to think, and do, and over analyze, and and and...
 
  I have never run a study group before. I have never actually "studied", to be honest, ever. School came rather easily for me, even in college (as long as I liked the class!). I could read the book, watch the lectures, etc, and I could regurgitate it back out during the test. No worries. My best friend (still my best friend in fact) hated that because I could wreck the curve in history class. I didn't study in groups...too distracting.
  So what am I doing, starting a study group? Imposter syndrome has reared it's very real and ugly head up, and I am doubting myself so much right now. I know I can do this, but I don't know that I can. So, just like with homeschooling my children and doing my craft blog stuff, I'm gonna try my best to stick to the course as laid out by the Dedicant Path, and the Wheel of the Year book, and hopefully not disappoint all the people I have somehow gathered into this study group. Yay!

  I took the boys to the library with me today, because we all needed to get out of the house. It's finally warm out, not cloudy, and it's feeling like summer. It's four blocks south, then four blocks east, to the library, and we were all quite warm when we finally made it there. Thankful for water fountains in the main area. I directed the boys to find a book (they hate reading, so this is always a challenge) or something to look at so mom could study. Everyone...they did it. They listened, and found books to read.
  I dug out all of my journals, notes, pens, binder with ADF stuff, and set myself up. It was pretty quiet today; kids and dads all over, but not being loud. My youngest (I will call him Z) came and sat down with a comic book and read very intently while I wrote and wrote. The study guide for the 9 Virtues has questions that are to make you think about them, and I was still working on the first exercise, or so I thought... I inadvertently was working on the second exercise on Wisdom. This was very exciting, and I sat and wrote out definitions and thoughts, and wore my brain out.
  I don't have any of it in coherent form yet, but I intend on posting each Virtue on here as an essay (remember back ups!!!).

  That is all I have for this brain dump post. I am hoping to post something every week, on Fridays, to keep myself in the habit of studying and walking this special Journey...

A new beginning

  I walked to the library today. Nothing extraordinary in that, lots of people walk to a library. But I don't normally walk there, in general. I usually have headphones on, and walk quickly, with purpose, so that no one will try to bother me. You see, I live in "the hood". It's a diverse area, mainly African Americans, but also Hmong, Hispanic/Mexican, Indian, and an oddly large gay/lesbian population. We have a drug house at the end of the block. Lots of poverty, although literally 10 blocks to the west is a rather wealthy area. It's almost summer, so the shootings have started. They tend to start just after the snow melts and the sun is more consistently out. Drug deals are more open now. Garbage chokes the sewer grates, and feral cats roam about. Sounds like a very unwelcoming place...and yet, you would be wrong.
  Today, I walked, with purpose, but not the usual one. The wind was up, and blowing scents of lilac, intermixed with car exhaust. A young AA man was mowing the lawn by the boxing gym, where my children go to learn to box and be with others not like them, and the scent of cut grass, along with lawn mower gas, wafted up. Birds were actually out and singing, and sometimes the sounds of cars would fade away, and there would be only wind and birdsong. I could hear kids playing. A man walking his dog paused to let me pat the pretty nose, and we wished each other a good day.
  I walked today, so I could study the Dedicant Path in peace, away from the boys and our roommates. I had my downloaded study guide with, my journal, and the ADF core book. I was able to get a whole hour of peace, in one of my favorite places, a library. I still had to change seats, as a man in my area decided to have a phone conversation right then and there. It made me lament for a time when libraries were a place of silence, with hushed conversation and the swish of turning pages. But, I live in "the hood", and the library here is a place of congregation. It's where kids spend after school time before going home. The elderly get help for things here. Kids programs are gearing up for summer. There is a large display for the renovations, planned to start in the fall this year. It looks fabulous.
  I made it through the first exercise on Wisdom, one of the 9 Virtues. Well, I somewhat made it through. I listed 5 persons/archetypes, but they all ended up being very similar. So far, all I can define Wisdom as is experiences that taught us lessons. All my wise persons/archetypes were that style. They also all fit so many different other Virtues, especially Hospitality. So, I believe I will be thinking on that a lot more.
  I walked home, at first feeling dissatisfied. I hadn't gotten as much done as I wanted. Also, I was hungry. But as I crossed that busy intersection, avoiding traffic, I realized that I had gotten a good start, which is what I needed to do. I needed to start being serious about this "Druid business". My kids are older, so I can actually devote some time to study. I have a Grove that is willing to do a study group with me, something that I didn't know I needed 3 years ago. I have been learning, little by little, and that counts for something.
  I think I am going to walk more often.